Overwhelmed again

Sometimes, especially lately, I just wanna scream "Will it ever end?!?!" That's probably a bit on the dramatic side but still.... It's all left me feeling very overwhelmed at the moment, especially as a mom. Nathan is doing well after his bought with pneumonia, except he's caught the cold that I got last week. School seems to be slowing down for him, in anticipation of the end of the year. Achievement testing is done, too, so that's nice. He seemed kinda stressed about them. Caleb, oh, Caleb -- poor little guy is having a terrible spring! His allergies are out of control. He doesn't complain much but I'm worried about him. He's had 2 ear infections back to back and with allergies running rampant, he's prone to have more of them. Our pediatrician has told us he might have to see the ear doctor. Jonathan and I talked and decided to go ahead and make an appointment. We can't get him in until July 19th so I'm hoping that he either shows us that he needs the appointment (even though that would mean another ear infection) or he shows us that he doesn't and/or we can get his allergies under control. We've started him on a THIRD allergy medicine and while it seems to be going okay, I just can't help but think "This sure is an awful lot of medicine for a little 7 year old" and wonder what effect, if any, this will have on him as he grows up. Elizabeth is growing like a weed! I'm sure "normal" parents (if there exists such a thing) would be happy to see their once-scary-skinny daughter start eating like Elizabeth is eating currently but alarms are going off in my head like you wouldn't believe! I grew up a fat kid and I desperately don't want that for my kids, especially my daughters. This morning, she's had 2 cinnamon rolls but then I cut her off...she also has eaten 1 1/2 bananas and is asking for more. It's a rainy Sunday and all of us but Jonathan are home from church because of various reasons, mostly illness, so I know she's at least a little bored. I've tried to distract her from eating by giving her crayons and turning on a cartoon but that isn't working. And I'm really starting to pay attention to how I eat in front of her. It's not exactly fun or easy to tell your kids not to do something that you're doing. But this is weighing heavy on my heart. John definitely has seasonal allergies but, thankfully, not as bad as Caleb's. John's actually doing quite well! He's probably the one I'm least concerned about at this point but that really isn't saying much. Timothy is on allergy medicine and yesterday I thought for sure he had developed another sinus infection but I think the allergy medicine has finally won out as his runny nose seems to be better today. We still go to speech therapy every Tuesday we can make it. I know Timothy doesn't see it and I hope this doesn't sound completely superficial on my part ('cause it's not, I promise!) but it's really starting to get to me when I see how "different" he is. Don't get me wrong -- his speech has gone through several major "explosions" as of late and there are times, now, when other adults can understand what he's saying. I know we've come a long way but it's starting to be so evident that he's not like the other kids his age and that's breaking this mom's heart. And, although it's rare, he's gotten very upset a few times when he's wanted something and we haven't been able to understand him to give him what he wants. I just pray that his speech will keep moving at this rapid pace and that we can get him caught up before it starts to affect him. And then there's Lydia. She's such a sweetie and so cute! But as her surgery day draws closer, my nerves are getting shorter. I so desperately want tubes to "fix" whatever hearing problem she may have. I know it wouldn't be the end of the world if she had to have a hearing aid (or 2) like Timothy but can anyone blame me for not wanting her (and me) to go through what we're going through with Timothy???

We watched "The Time Traveler's Wife" last night and, sorry, but I wouldn't recommend it -- the language is bad and the story is very "heavy". But, would you want to see the future or visit the past, if you could? I definitely don't want to do either. And I'm becoming more and more thankful that God is sovereign. But, obviously, I still have a long way to go.

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." ~Mt. 6:34


The Mrs. said...

Love that you are relying on Christ on trusting Him to supply all your needs. It's SOO hard sometimes!

Jamie said...

Wow. And I think I have moments of being overwhelmed. Hang in there. You have a beautiful family.