(If you happened to read Candace's comment on last Monday's "Not Me", then this will not be a surprise to you.) I certainly did not drive Nathan to gym class last Monday with my lights on, pull into the parking lot, drop Nathan off, and forget to turn my lights off. My lights then certainly did not continue to run for the 45 minutes Nathan was in gym class while I periodically turned the car on and off for heating purposes (me and the other kids might have been in the van watching a DVD). This certainly didn't cause my van's battery to die so I didn't need Candace and Matt to come help me. And, if certain things didn't happen, then I certainly didn't walk out of the door on a cold, snowy Monday without a coat for myself and without bringing a diaper bag for Timothy because I knew we'd only be gone an hour and 10 minutes. So Timothy didn't scream from hunger and tiredness while we didn't wait on the Bauer's to come. Nope, didn't happen.
Of course, I didn't just spill freshly made, hot tea all over my left hand and part of my ever-growing belly just now because I'm always careful.
I didn't just wash and dry a black ink pen because I always check the pockets.
I didn't say a quiet "YES!" when Nathan woke up with more coughing so that I don't have to take him to gym today because I'm tired, because I'm hip deep in laundry, and because I'm already loathing bundling up 5 children and taking them out in the cold. I'm never too tired to take my kids places, I'm always caught up on laundry, and it really doesn't bother me to bundle everyone up so they don't fit right in their car seats any more. In fact, I love winter and take the kids out as much as possible just so I can get the opportunity to do said bundling. Oh, and I would certainly never be even a little happy for one of my kids to be sick, even if it is just a virus.
And last, but not least, I did not resist the urge to oh and ah at the 2 babies we saw on the labor and delivery tour at the hospital yesterday. I'm certainly not feeling overwhelmed at the idea of having another baby and taking said tour didn't make me feeel very, very nervous. I'm totally at peace with a new baby coming, a new baby who's going to be up every few hours screaming, who's going to need diaper changes and bottles. I'm SO looking forward to doing it all over again. In fact, I may even breastfeed this time 'cause the thoughts of breastfeeding just brings dreams and images of beautiful bonding between me and my baby. The thoughts of breastfeeding don't dweeb me out at all. Not one little bit.
Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. (can you hear the sarcasm?) Oh, and if above things were true, I'd want you all to know that my hand and belly are fine, the pen did not ruin any clothing, and Nathan is really on the mend and really does just have a virus.